[V]Wouldn't want to lose my loved ones .







Alright , i seriously thought i might be able to get 8 hours of sleep but i was wrong . Auntie woked me up at 6 in the morning , hah . I couldn't say anything cos she will only be here for 1 week [?] So yea , i had to listened and wake up dengan rambot aku masai . Hahaha ! I swear i was like a lazy , stubborn pig (:


No choice ryte ? Okay . We then decided to walk around Toa Payoh central , together with nenek . Nak adventure sikit katekan . Yea , mummy and daddy slept at Nenek's house cos they wanna go and fetch cuzzies from Australia , again . I wouldn't mind if it's in the afternoon or what . But their landing time was 3am in the morning .


I didn't follow of course because i know i would be in Lalaland at that point of time , and snoring loudly too . Heh . Nak buat ape seyyyh . Aku tak sanggop bangon pukol 3 pagi . * grins * Anyway , im glad that they reach safely . Will be meeting up with Lyani and Farah . I wanna go get those shoes and some shirts/dress/cardigans . Hah , i realise im broke but no obstructions liaos .


Auntie gave me like 50 bucks to spent at town later . Thnkyou =) Appreciated manymany . I really consider her as a lucky and successful woman . She didn't have a good education last time but now , she's working with like , $4000 as her pay . For a month okay . Imagine 1 year , 12 months , 365 and one quarter days . Thats like alot , man . Wow !


Hahaha ! I really can't wait for my outing later . I hope somebody won't spoil my mood today because i'm really having an excited , fun mood . If he seriously calls me again , i will throw my phone right out the window . What a dumbass ! I hate it when people force me to get together with a guy that i don't love .


Okay , whatever . Suit yourself . Kalau kau ader bnyk free time , buat something that is useful uhh . Kau msg aku buat pe !? Duit kau sume wasted on your calls and messages for me . Yucks ! You're just a pathetic meat sack that i don't love neither like , at all !


This guy is making my blood boil .
Any minute , im gonna explode .
Off to read some mags .
Ciao !

Labels: i really am a normal girl .

[V] Aku memang tak cantik . But I feel that you're having something up your sleeve .



I had the worst nightmare of all yesterday night . I woke up in cold sweat and I felt like crying during that "scary" moment . I somehow don't wish to elaborate about it . Talk to Lyani and Farah yesterday . Thanks alot , bbygurls .


Aku cumer nak tawu ape perasaan dier terhadap aku . He means alot to me . Only close friends know who he his . I swear this is the first time i'm falling for a guy , in a different way . He's unique . He has those perfect , brown piercing eyes that makes you melt when you look at it straight .


I know he gives me this "ireallydontlikeyou" kinda attitude but i wanna know badly if we have this connection between us . I don't want anymore lies and the truth is , im being single because im waiting for him . He knows about my blog and everything .


My trust in him is as high as the sky . The only limit of my trust for a person wouldn't be that high exceptionally for my parents whom i trust 1000% the most . So , if you read my blog , boy , i want you to know that these are my true feelings . I really , really want to know if you feel anything towards me .


I know im like 13 , and still young . But , typical human beings have feelings too and need a future , happiness to stay with them . Parents always go ; "No boyfriends until you finish school." Come on . My parents aren't like that . They even say they will support me in whatever i do . Daddy even say , "Have boyfriends and friends." It's not just me .


You gotta be who you are . Don't let anything small , obstruct your way to a happy and confidence future . Like what i usually would say , "Life's your own to rule." Everything is in your hands . It's just a matter of time and your sense of humour . It's whether you're ready .


Think about it , bloggers .
Alrites , bye .

Labels: think freely okay .

[V]Will you leave , in my deepest despair ?


Hey there ! Im forcing myself to update my blog . So , just stick your ears and hear me out okay . Honestly , im having a little trouble here trying to find a nicer and better blogskin but to no avail . Ohh well , i guess i'll try it again , some other time . Watched - The Grudge 3 in the early morning . Surprisingly , i woked up at 9.30am . Thanks nenek , for waking me up :) Not trying to be sarcastic here . Hah .


Anyway , the movie was a little boring and it was too brief[?] Yeah , i think . The ghost was so pale like it has seen itself in the mirror and i was laughing hard with daddy cos the movie didn't really made sense except for the first part when "Jake" got killed , it was scary and i had to close my face with the pillow for that minute .


Alright , let's move on . Since mummy is not cooking and has gone off to work , my sisters are at nenek's house and berry is at school having fun , of course . He had the worst lecture ever from mummy yesterday , and he cried because of something that i don't wish to elaborate . Heh . Now , daddy's at Toa Payoh Hub buying food for the family .


Since abang dedek , is getting married this Saturday , cuzzies , cuzzies' boyfriend and cuzzies' husband are all coming to Singapore and guess what[?] They are so very the kecoh .
HAHAHA ! No worries . You don't need to buy anything for us . Haven't meet Luke yet . Wonder how he looks like . But hey , i've met Travis before and we even went for a "superman" ride the last time he was here , in Singapore which was like 2 months ago[?] :)


I'm so happy that they are here . Excited for abang dedek's wedding too . Alisha and I are so gonna go for another shopping spree like last time . Geez , whatever . Okay veilla , shut up . By the way , i seriously forgot that they are coming today . Hah . So , im done here . Loveyouall ;D

Labels: don't leave me hanging .

[V]The beginning will however end ;;




Well first thing first . I went to school today feeling so lethargic and i think that might be due to my fever that had just went "down" . Still had cough , abit of flu and sore throat . 2 periods of character education was okay although we didn't do anything . At all . Hah . More than half didnt turn up for school .

The longest M.C was like , 10 days . For a moment , i thought i wouldnt be send home after Fei Ni had a temperature of 38.1 degree . But my premonition was wrong . Those girls having cough and flu had to go home so that it wont spread to others who are perfectly fine . Sheesh , whatever . So , Kim and I packed our stuffs and went to this room which made me feel like a terrorist being caught red-handed . Hahaha :)


Off we went . Obviously , my dad won't come and pick me up . But he gave me the permission to get home myself . Went out of school and people started to stare at me like i'm having H1N1 . Pffftt . Just deal with it . Anyway , went to the clinic again around afternoon to get my M.C and medication .


Walked home and ate abit before taking my pills and cough syrup . Suddenly , *yawned* and i slept for like , 5 or 4 hours xD Huahuahua . That's like basically what i did today and gosh , i'm sick of staying at home for like 1 week .


Noelle sms-ed me and said that all Secondary 1/5 girls are free from school till next Monday . Thank you God . Alhamdullilah . Hee :D Happy nyer aku . Duhh .At least i don't have to put up with that bitch's attitude . I seriously don't understand why she hates me so much . I mean , we've been like in one clique for years and now i feel that she hates me even more .


I'm leading a good life already , "friend" . So , you dont need to come up to me and roll your eyes like you're somekind of superstar . Bet nobody even like your eyes . I'll show you what i got when the rght time comes , bitch :DDDDDDD

Labels: There are too many barriers .

Here we are , lying here .
It's our last final goodnight .
Just because it feels so good .
No use pretending we're alright .



Ohh gosh , i've really not been updating due to fever , cough , sore throat and flu .
The worst thing , however , all of these H1N1 symptoms , came at one go . I just wish all of this would stop . Im on 2 days of MC and homeworks would surely be more for me . Great , LOL . Im starting to lose my voice and i don't know how long i have to keep quiet and shut myself in one corner . I miss school , terribly alot .

Yeahh , whatever . I know some would go like "It's so awesome not going to school!" But hey , being sick is a whole lot worse than getting homeworks -,- My fever is taking it's own time to drop . Im feeling so weak and it seems that i had gone for a battle for days without any food and drink . Sheesh .

Since i was at home for 2 sickening days , i listened to these songs for 1517176763# times ! Hahaha (:

We The Kings - Skyway Avenue .
Boys Like Girls - Learning To Fall .
Didicazli ft Sleeq - Impianku .
Silverstein - Smile In Your Sleep .
David Archuleta - My Hands .


Bring me back into your arms .
I need your warmth and your
Touch . Baby , bring me
Closer . I love you .

Labels: Don't cry over spilled milk .

[V] Kesedihan berputik dari kematangan seseorang .


Hello fellow bloggers . Yesterday was Stacey's last day at school and I cried so badly . I just don't want her to go to Canada though she's moving to a better place . Gosh , maybe i will cry again , today . It's her farewell party today and I'm sure everyone will be dead beat when they reach home . I'm staying till 11pm to help her clean up the stuffs .

Stacey , I'll miss you so much okay . Don't ever forget me and the rest of your classmates and please come back once in a while to visit us . Take care of yourself at Canada ayee . One more thing , although Canada allows teenagers to have sex at the age of 14 or 15 , consider it first . Get some hotty guys friends and introduce them to Lyanneh and me okay :DDD

HAHAHAHA ! Iloveyou , Stacey :) Well , i didn't get a chance to watch Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince with Lyanneh , Lyanneh's sis and Stacey but i still watched it with mummy , daddy and adeq . The movie was romantic , funny and awesome though abit draggy . But hey , I like Emma Watson's dress and that Malfroy guy , i think . Hah ! Dumbledore died and it was so sad till i teared . Emo seyyyh aku .

By the way , friendster-ed just now and thought that maybe i should go and check out some pictures of Adam Gregory . Got a picture of a very HEAT HOT one ! Adam's soooo cute ! I have to agree with Lyani :) The other guy that Stacey likes looks like some kind of a playboy . Heh .

About dyy , I have written so many things about him in my little teddy bear diary . Only my closest friends know how i felt while writing an entry that made me cried . Aku nak tawu perasaan dier . I don't wanna lead a life in darkness . I want him but i know we can't be together . Cume tuhan je tawu betape besarnye cinte aku untok dier . I'm broken into pieces :(

Labels: Give me your guts .

If you think i'm dead and gone , there's nothing left for me to say .


Well alrights , school yesterday and today was perfectly good and i was happy that i didn't fell asleep . Wooots ! Heh . Niways , malay periods were really gerek (: Maths periods were so , easy ? Hah .

Basically , no arguments and quarrels todayy . Naseb baik dier daa tak dudok nan kyter . Alhamdulillah . Hee . Mummy cooked sardines with fried chickens .
Yummy lurh deyyyh . Had dikir barat too . Sec 1/5 and 1/6 knows * wide smiles * Hakim and the other guy were so funny seyyyh =) Aku tak suke uh Lyani . Tak handsome .

You know who i'm waiting for kan ? I'm bottling up my feelings until it's the right time to talk to him . Doakan untok aku kay . Sayang kau :)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is out . NOW ! Oh gosh , it's
a must watch show okay , peeps ! Watching with Lyani , Stacey and Lyani's sister . Hope we get the tickets ayye . Bye ! xD

Labels: love at first sight .

[ Andai dapat ku undurkan putaran dunia ]



I feel very I-N-S-E-C-U-R-E without you . Yes , you .
I don't know why . I ain't sure about this feelings . God , give me the
Strength please . I know my conscience is right .

Labels: Tonight will never end ):

I somehow cannot lie to myself . I feel very safe and secure whenever i am with
Him . What is this ? Love ? I think i love you . Very very much ):

Labels: fighting for my happiness

Honesty is the best policy .



As you can see . I haven't update for sooo long . Been really lazy and tired .
At the same time , im truely pissed . Had p.e today and i cried . Heh . I had bad
Menstrual cramps and the pain was fugging excruciating , i tell you . God . I thought
I might just die . On the spot . Hah . Lessons were perfectly fine . Loads of Homeworks to be completed and that's so usual . Okay enough about school . Im just Praying hard it might close down although my grades terribly suck :)


Tomorrow's outing with Lyanneh isn't conferm yet . Gaaaaah ~ Niways , my uncle or is It my atok ? Whatever . Too many sedare uh . Hahaha . Yeaaah , either one
Of them is having cukur rambut . It's a malay thingy . Duh . Seriously , I
Don't wanna go cos i might end up seeing a person that hates me most and I hate him
More than he do . I just can't keep up with ur irritating attitude . So , im gonna Say your name here . MOHD SHAFIK . Get it !? Kau betol betol buat aku benci kau nan perangai kau . Well , it's history and I damn don't
Care about you . At all .


I so don't wanna see you and I know you don't wanna see me too . Fair right ? We will
Go our seperate ways okay . You go that side , I go this side . Whatever we do , it
Must be the opposite because I fell in love with a heartless guy that didn't
Appreciate me . Im done with you . So overrr it okay !


I really don't understand guys' attitude and sometimes it makes me scared to get
Another boyfriend . Get what I mean ? If not , get lost . It's my blog and my say .
I just hate it when guys make me disposable . Extremely , outrageous attitude . Walau ehh ! Mak bapak tak ajar pe ? Aaah ! Very the shitbulls .


Back to school . O M G . Just realised that im actually typing this post like a
Script for a news broadcast . Hah ! I know , random . Ohh . I wanted to say thanks
To Lyanneh and Stacey and 1/5 . You people are really nice and kind . I guess ? Well , it should be . Im really tired . Gonna get some sleep .




Kau pikir kau saper untuk bad-mouth aku ? Kau pikir dengan duit boleh beli pape pe ?
Aku dah give up nan kau uhh . Buat ape aku nak kawan nan pompan yang tak ader maruah ? Ingah eh jangan mintak tolong aku bile perlu ah kay . Aku bukan mainan , pompan ! Kau nak main , main jaoh jaoh sua !

Labels: What's ur problem ?

HAPPY BURFDAE FARAH DINAH BINTE ZAINE ! MAY UR WISHES COME TRUE , DEAR ! :D


Wow . Wireless connection is with me today . Good progess . Lols .
Went out to Bugis and Bras Basah with bestie , Lyani . We seriously was
Laughing hard . Hah . I know you know Lyani . And yea , she was fasting .
Why ? Cos her mum forced her . Kcian kau . Nyaha !

Then , we walk here , walk there and out of the blue , terserempak dgn Noelle , Dinis and Priscilla . Chat for a while and
Started to make a move . I made a badge for 5 bucks . Cheap seyyyh (:
Homeworks are completed and I'm so glad . Packed my things and yes , im quite
Ready for school tomorrow . Its very weird cos i wasn't always sure what will
Happen in school . Hah ! No one knows except God . Anyway , that picture on top
Is a guy that i was talking about to Lyani . Adorable kan ? Of course mahh .
My boyfriend :) Aku step siooool ! Haha .

Am really tired now . Gotta go and study . HAPPY BELATED BURFDAE TO DINIS TOO ! :) Toodles peeps !

Labels: fun and tiring day .

Im bored . Btol btol mendak . Didn't went out today . Yes , again .
Cos i ain't the type yg suke dudok pat umah . Nyaha ! Read Atin's blog . Again .
Why do i keep reapeating that word ? Okay , shut it . Whatever . I wanna go so-go-out
Tomorrow but i haven't done my homework . Pegang pon belom seyyyh . Hah .

Miss my girlfriends and boyfriends already . Pfffttt . But yea , im starting to feel
That _____ is avoiding me . Everytime i msg-ed him , " sorry eh , i busy . " Firstly , aku phm yg kau attached . But come on man . Tak kan kau takde mase untok kwn kau sendiri . Firstly , it makes my heart break and secondly , ape slh
Aku sia ? I want an explanation . I can be nasty when talking bout friends . You Betta think uh okay . I don't blame you . I understand your situation . Gfs and bfs
Always come first . Itu aku phm . But remember . Friends are always there for you .
You make me feel disposable . Nk mintak tlg , carik aku . Biler masalah daa settle ,
Kau campak aku . Call pon tak seyyyh . Forget it sua ! *sighs*


Nenek and adeq just came back from jemputan and yes , they didn't bring anything home . Aku lapar lurhh *^927&@%^&$#@ . Okay then . Blablabla . Urgh . Anyway , saw
Videos about Michael Jackson yesterday and i swear , I cried really alot .
When he was alive , no one treasured him . But instead , we accuse him of many
Things . When he's gone , people start to say sorry and tell media that they
Love him . You all are really hypocrites and mean .


Looks like I gotta go . And im damn tired . Update more tomorrow . Bye ! (:

Labels: my instincts .

Alright . I give up . My wireless connection is seriously not with me today .
Bullshits . Pfft . It's Saturday and so , madrasah tomorrow . Plus , tuition .
Atin's blog really touched me . Alotalot . I know how you feel to lose
Someone you love , dear . But , you have to be strong . Life still have to go on .
And , don't lose faith .



-----

I thanked Lyani yesterday for giving me advice . Thnks alot gerl . I know you know
What had happened . To that most retarded and annoying person ; what goes around comes around uhh eyh . I've finally found the real me and I gotta be and will
Stay strong . I mean it , really . Secondary 1 life seems abit tough and I know it
Will get harder as days go by . Okay , random . Anyway , no school on Monday and it
Will gimme more time to focus and do homeworks . Basically , no outings today .
And yes , im truly bored . Random again (: I'll end of here then . Ciao people !

Labels: i know that determination .

I know it's kinda late but its okayh . RIP , Michael . Well , you did leave us
Earlier and I guess God loves you truly more . You was and will still be my icon ,
Role model and HERO . You were the one who wanted to show and give something to the
World and you did . You gave us ur soul and music to live in us forever . Your music Still lives on , MJ .




------



First of all , school was not that bored and fun either but it was just plain . Anyway , the whole school was dismissed early by 35 minutes and
I was just like okay with tat . I was lucky Ms Chua didn't give that much homework
But Clarissa told me tat some question were really hard -.- Papejekklarheyh . I'm really kinda pissed of and somehow feel insecure about
Something that happened at school before i left . I don't wish to elaborate anymore
About it cos it just breaks my heart and it ache so much . Cume aku tak paham kenape orang suke carik pasal dengan aku , byler aku diam . It really is frustrating and hurtful at the same time . Aku tawu uh , aku niek tak cantek . Tapi takya nak burok2 kan name aku okay ! This person is getting on my nerves
Everytime i see her bloody face . Never did I say anything about you
Uhh . Stop it seyh . I know , ur rich and pretty but what's the use if ur heart is
Fcuking dark and selfish ? Tolong jangan start uhh , pompan !



To be honest . To be free . To be yours . To last forever .

Labels: insecure .